When I started my business nearly 9 years ago, there werenât many things I knew for certain.
I did know one thing though: Successful women were thin, well groomed, wore heels (even at home) and accessorised with red lipstick and an aura of confidence. Since I was more likely to be seen in birkenstocks than heels, this meant I knew another thing for certain: I was never going to be successful.
I also knew:
+ I couldnât be the face of my business because I was fat.
+ Nobody would want me to mentor them because I failed at my weight.
+ I couldnât speak in public because people would judge me for being overweight.
+ I was not worthy of being successful and admired because I was fat.
Now, this wasnât just a case of low self-esteem.These beliefs had been reinforced over and over again in my fledgling years as an entrepreneur.
One time at a weekend conference, a fellow (and very well known and ‘successful’) entrepreneur bragged to me how she was hiring a stylist for a tv appearance, then looked me up and down and said: âYou must find it hard to find clothes.â I was mortified.
Another time, I was having a coffee meeting with a new client at an outdoor cafĂ© when some random guy drove past and yelled âFattie!â at me. I wanted to die.Â
So I did what I thought was right ⊠I made myself as small as possible. And I donât mean physically, but emotionally. Mentally. I hid behind my business. I hid behind my website. I kept myself small and unconfident and I let all of these beliefs cloak me and keep me anonymous. I wasnât a person with an identity; I was a shadowy figure that happened to have a knack for conjuring up designs my clients loved.
Still, it wasnât enough. I wasnât a success. And even though I wasnât putting myself out there and attracting new clients (which would help me with the âbecome a successâ thing) I blamed my weight. Thatâs why my business wasnât succeeding.
Because I was fat.
Until one day, I thought âeff itâ. I could either keep doing what I was doing and hope things got better (the very definition of insanity) or I could change. Again, not physically, but emotionally. Mentally.
I decided:
+ You don’t have to look a certain way to be a BOSS.
+ You don’t have to talk a certain way be a LEADER.Â
+ You don’t have to be polished & “profesh” to SUCCEED.Â
+ You just gotta do it your way.
And if you want to be eating a pink cookie in your branded headshots, dooo it!Â
(scroll down to see my photos)
Speaking of which âŠÂ I embarked on a mission to be SEEN in my biz. It was like a coming out party. In my latest photo shoot, I channeled my flower power muse Drew Barrymore and rocked it, then went ahead and put the pics on my website, EVERYWHERE. I put my face in my email signature. I spoke at events and hosted webinars. I put myself out there. WAY out there. As I was and âŠÂ Enter the ultimate plot twist ⊠I became successful anyway.
My weight didnât â hasnât – changed. At all.Â
Yet I achieved the ultimate wtf moment ⊠I was still successful in my biz.Â
Despite, in spite of, my excess weight, the clients kept calling.The work kept rolling in. And in. And in. Until I was the queen of a thriving empire that turned over six figures a year
I couldnât believe it. I was fat ⊠and my clients loved me anyway.
Want to know why? Because the whole âonly skinny women are successfulâ spiel was bullsh*t. That was simply my inner mean girl being a jerk. That was simply false beliefs running rampant. That was simply NOTHING to do with my worth and value as a person and as a designer.
Today, Iâm out and proud: I am not a skinny woman. I am a success.
Those two things have nothing to do with each other, except if I let them. And I refuse to let them anymore. I just donât care anymore if I get judged â I love me and accept myself, and thatâs all that matters.
