
Have you ever caught your parent in one of those,
âDo as I say, not as I doâ moments?”
Like, Mum, why are you allowed to devour a Kit Kat 20 minutes before dinner,
but *I* have to die of starvation so I donât âruin my appetiteâ?!
Well, the irony recently caught up with me.
Over the years, Iâve had designers run to me, hearts on their sleeves, devastated by
something their clients had said or done. And each and every time I would reassure
them, âThis is business; itâs not personal.â  Be like Teflon, baby. Let that shit just slide riiiiight off.
But, uh, it turns out thatâs a lot easier said than done. And since starting my own
paid membership community a year ago, Iâve become President of the Sobbing,
Emotional Mess Committee â feeling every cancellation like a brutal bitchslap.
So, what did I do?
Easy: I gave myself my patented Anna, âHarden upâ talk that I would give anyone else.
âThis is business, baby.â I told myself. âIt isnât personal.â
But something Iâve learned is that it still hurts. Why? âCause my community is 100% me;
everything I stand for, believe in and practice. And once you invest in me, I invest in
you ten-fold.
Iâm always reminding my boss ladies that I really, really want them to succeed.
Like, whatever you need, Iâll make it happen.
Struggling with offering day rates in your business? Gimme a min, Iâll create a
masterclass for you. Want help licensing illustrations? Hold my coffee, Iâm going to
find you an expert, ask them for advice, and bring it to you. And if youâre feeling like
life is too hard, keep an eye on the mailbox âcause Iâve sent you a card with love
notes from your fellow designers.
Sure, itâs business. But thereâs no fricken way it ainât personal too.
Especially when I get messages like these from women who have connected and been supported by me:

So, the way I figure it….
I was wrong.
I shouldnât have told my fellow designer boss ladies to harden up or
pretend nothing is wrong.
When youâre working towards what youâre passionate about, youâre vulnerable.
And when youâre vulnerable, you may get hurt.
I used to question a how Brene Brown was able tomake a whole career about
encouraging people to be vulnerable. But I GET it now.
(Omg, Iâm 42 and still learninggggg. Yaaas.)

So yeah, business is gonna hurt sometimes. If youâre doing it with your whole heart,
itâs probably even gonna sting like a real mother fucker.
But thatâs the minority of the time. The majority of the time, youâll know youâre living
in your light and making a real difference in the world.
And now I know the real solution for those cancellations:
Keep caring. Donât switch off. Soften up. Be vulnerable. And be true to who you are.
I canât promise youâll never get a cancellation or an angry client. But what I can
promise is that the people that love you will love you hard. And the ones that cancel
didnât need you. It might hurt. And thatâs okay.
Deep breaths. Youâll get through this. And when all else fails, remind yourself of all
the people youâve helped.
Youâre doing great.
All the love,
Anna xo
PS. Need more pep talks (and real talk)? Make sure you listen to my podcasts!
The uncool designer & Designer Boss with Emma Kate