I was 17 when my mum threatened to never speak to me again.
But it wasn’t my fault – it was Perfect Margot’s fault.*
Perfect Margot had perfect scores across the grade. She spoke fluent Shakespeare and could calculate advanced algorithms on the fly. And she did it all without breaking a sweat. Which, mostly, didn’t bother me.
… Except when she turned those eager eyeballs of her on my goal: The top student prize for art.
Yeah nah, Margot.
I pushed myself harder than I ever had before, working overtime like a Van Gogh art-making machine (and driving my mother completely crazy in the process) until that prize was mine.
(Which it was. Smug smirk.)
That was just the tip of the iceberg though. I’ve always wanted to do more and do better. And this overachieving nature came with dangerously high expectations.
When I won, life was grand.
But when I didn’t … It got messy.
The self-talk turned from supportive to nasty and my inner critic came complete with a baseball bat.
“You didn’t try hard enough.”
“You didn’t work enough.”
“You didn’t prioritise.”
“You didn’t deserve it.”
“You’re a fraud.”
Hell, I’ve even made a list of all the ways I’ve failed as an overachieving boss this year.
The many ways I’ve failed this year
- I haven’t finished my book yet. It’s an A to Z and I have a mere five chapters left to write … but I seriously can’t get it across the line.
- I haven’t organised any in-person lunches. Yep, I promised my DBLS I would do in-person dinners/lunches in conjunction with the aforementioned book launch. Which, for obvious reasons, hasn’t happened when there isn’t a book to launch.
- I invested a whole bunch of time this year working on an idea that never came to fruition. I paid for copy, spent hours designing a sales page but in the end, I didn’t love the idea and decided to scrap it.
- I didn’t bring my new ecourse (on multiple income streams) to life yet. This baby is dying to be birthed but seriously there was not enough months in the year to do it justice!
- I’m indecisive about what I want to do next. I wanna do all the things which leaves me paralysed doing none of the things.
Yeah nah, I didn’t get a lot done this year. Margot would be smirking at me right now.
And yet … I’m surprisingly okay with it.
So how did I become such a zen failing overachieving boss? Good question.
I gave myself a fucking break. I am human. I am a mum of three and a wife to a man who travels the globe for work. I deserve sanity, which means sometimes shit doesn’t get done. #shrug
I remember why I started my biz in the first place. I started my business because I craved freedom & flexibility, which means not being chained to my desk 24/7. My happiness and my family are always priority.
I appreciate all the things I did achieve. Even though I didn’t tick everything off my list this year, I still achieved a shit tonne! Which makes me proud.
I live and learn. I was a little unrealistic with what I can achieve in a year, so I’m determined to be more strategic with my planning and goal setting in 2020.
So if you’re struggling with your inner mean overachiever you need to get on top of that bitch!
… But if you’re still feeling like this year has been a bit of a wipe, it’s time to shake off the stress and write your future success story.
*Okay, maybe it was a little bit my fault.