These six words used to really piss me off:
“You always get what you want.”
Not because they were wrong (they weren’t), but because of what they implied:
That I was a spoilt brat and that things came easily to me.
Sure, the universe may favour me (thanks, girl ?), but getting what I want in life and
business has never had anything to do with being a spoilt brat.
I work bloody hard for what I have.
I haven’t been given anything easily, and the only reason I get what I want is because I don’t give up until it’s mine.(Remember how I smashed perfect Margot outta the water and claimed the art prize for myself? Grit, girl.)
But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Big nope. In fact, sometimes getting what I want is really flipping hard. Like when I had to pull myself back together after my first marriage.
When everything ended in a fiery emotional explosion (you can hear all about it in the podcast here), I was left a shell of the person I am today. And even though there was a part of me that thought I was destined to a lifetime of solitude and single parenthood, I was still fighting for me.
For the woman I knew I was and could be.
A year into my weekly therapy sessions, I finally felt healed enough to tell my psychologist, “I think I want to meet someone.” My kind psych smiled at me and said, “So, what do you want from a new partner?”
I’ll admit, my first response wasn’t very zen. “I’d love someone who wasn’t a selfish, cheating scumbag.” I said.
My psychologist laughed, then gently guided me through the process in a far more calming and healing way, complete with homework for me to do once I arrived home: To write a list of everything I wanted in my dream man ?
So I went home, poured myself a glass of wine, and got really fucking specific (down to what music he’d be into!) about the man I wanted to attract into my life. There were no compromises.
I knew what I wanted, and I was willing to do whatever it took to get it. I wrote it down. Twice. Three times. Getting more and more specific about the traits, qualities and type of man I wanted.
“This is a dumb fairytale,” my logical brain told myself. “You can’t whip up a man from a dream shopping list.”
But my heart knew that this was my way of putting what I wanted OUT THERE. Then once I got clear … I took a step. A huge big scary step into the world of online dating.
Guys, this was HUGE. I hadn’t been on a date in over years. Now, I was a “curvy” single mother to two kids … Who will want you? My inner bitch sneered.
But. I. Persisted.
Because I knew what I wanted, and I was going to get it. So I went on a few “interesting” (cough) dates, continued refining my dream man list and held hope that I’d find him.
Then, one night, I came across a profile that stopped me in my tracks.
It was him. My dream man. I just knew it. He had everything I’d listed, even down to the music taste.
It’s now 7 years later, and we’re about to celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary. You may say it was destiny, but I 100% believe this gorgeous man is in my life because I made it happen.
I’m pretty powerful like that.
And although this was a story about meeting my dream man, I apply the exact same steps in my business and everything I do in life!
Which is why if I want a house with a pool, I get it.
If I want to take my family on an overseas holiday, I get it.
If I want to work three days a week and make $200k a year, I get it.
And guess what?
You can get it too. Here’s how.
Five habits of people who achieve their goals…
1. THEY TRUST THEIR INTUITION
When all logical signs point left but their heart pulls them right, goal-achievers unapologetically go right. And even when friends, family and society are screaming that they know best, the goal-achiever understands that the only thing that truly matters is what they want for themselves.
2. THEY ARE DEVOTED TO SOUL-SEARCHING
When goal-achievers feel like they don’t know what they want, they invest their time, attention and brainpower into getting clear on their needs, goals and ambitions. They dig deep and get to the core of what they really want, not stopping until they feel driven to achieve their goals.
3. THEY WRITE IT DOWN
Did you know that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down? (Hat tip to this study here.) Goal-achievers know this and write down their goals not just once, but again and again, refining them as they go along.
4. THEY BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES
This is a little woo woo, but goal-achievers know that if they want to attract their dreams into their life, they’ve gotta be on the right vibration to receive them. So they read and reread their goals and inject every little bit of belief they can into themselves and their future.
5. THEY TAKE ACTION
You know how people say that goals without plans are just dreams? Well, I’m gonna push it one step further and say that goals are nothing but dreams if you don’t action your plan. You’ve gotta do the work, take the plunge and prepare to fail in order to succeed. (And believe me, there were some failed online dates for me on the way to true love; Oh, toothless Colin was a winner!)
So … ready to be the goal-achiever you’re destined to be?